I watch TV at night with sunglasses on. Hello, my name is Emma, and I have trouble sleeping.

Actually, I have much better sleep than I used to. It helps not to talk to anyone before I go to bed. I used to talk to Eric on the phone right up until bedtime, and then I could not sleep. It was too stimulating. I think what is actually stimulating is myself talking, not listening. That is why I fall asleep at the movies, concerts, and while driving. My brain slows down. When I am talking or singing, I keep myself awake.

I had lots of talks with Eric today. He told me no one is looking and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of our relationship. He says we can move past him driving away into the night all the way to Michigan because I interrupted him while he was reading. I don't know what to think. Yes, I do love him, and I know he loves me, but is that really a way to deal with things? He said if he had a plan in advance, he would have gone to Starbucks to calm down. Was I really that annoying, though?

I need closeness and make bids for connection. He needs space. He says he feels loved when I give him his space but remain with him, loving him.

In high school, he used to skip class and walk all the way home. He would then have Saturday school. I would skip one class now and then and not get caught. It is just like what happened with us on Sunday. I went for a walk, but he drove all the way back to Michigan. It is how and who he is. Can he change? I don't know. I don't want him to feel angry at me for stupid things. It is like Aaron. I wanted Aaron not to get angry about things.

Am I happier with Eric or alone? I am happy alone. I didn't used to be, but I am now.

Today, I had lunch with Stacy Hopkins. It was really fun. I need to do that more often. She told me about a yoga app to download so I can get in my daily stretching. I might make yoga my February challenge. In fact, I will. Yoga every day for February!