Surprise, surprise. I broke up with Eric again. Every time I think things are going well, I move the bed to the middle of the room, and we break up. This time I am keeping it there. Maybe. I might change to sleeping in the other bedroom above the garage. I could redecorate that one and use the other one for guests.

I broke up with him after he left my house to drive back to Michigan. I told him if he left, we were over. He drove back to Michigan. Today he regretted it. He told me that he would come back right now if I wanted him to and make everything right again with me. I am tempted to let him come because I would like the company. I would be happy if we could be friends, and he could come and visit me. That would be awesome if we could be good friends. That would make me happy.

Other thoughts for today… I really want Eric to come, but I know that when he gets here, he won't be who I need or want him to be. He will be his own weird, cagey self with attachment issues. It is unavoidable.

I need to detach and figure out how not to be consumed by what happened. He told me that if he lived in Indianapolis, I would not have been so upset when he left during our argument. He says I would not have broken up with him. Would I? Probably. The point is that he didn't do that. He drove 180 miles to get away from me. He could have gone to Starbucks and then come back when he calmed down. He said leaving was better than screaming at me. He is scared of his own anger. Perhaps he is dangerous. I don't know. Carrie had me watch some documentaries on abuse, and the abusers and the cycle seemed familiar. I have to leave an abuser. I cannot stay.

Reflections on Eric's Family

I talked to his mom, and she said Eric is just like his dad and that his dad did the same thing, which is why she is glad she is single and lives by herself.

I talked to my friends, and they are all glad that Eric and I broke up and thought he was not good for me. Den said that if his mom said that about him, it means a lot. That he is moody.

Thoughts on Friendship

I am encouraged and reminded yet again about how much my friends care about me. Stacie G came over to be with me so I could cry, and she called to check on me today. Kelly, Carrie, and Den all called to talk about it. This is right, and I must not go back.

I am happy lately. I have been treating life like an adventure that I have every day. I like what I put in and what I get out of it.

Concerns About Teaching

The new English teacher is not putting in any effort. He had no slides ready for teaching today. I don't know if he doesn't understand, if he is a drug addict, or what, but he can't just teach with no text to teach. He will learn slowly.

I am feeling uncertain about my role with Bryce. It seems that he is quite unprepared to teach, and I feel a sense of responsibility in this situation, but I am unsure about the support he is receiving.

For instance, he wasn't aware that he needed to have a lesson prepared for today or how to set up his class connections. I want to ensure that I don't drop the ball here.

Additionally, it's challenging for me to guide someone else on how to teach and what is expected without overstepping. I want to be supportive without stepping on his toes.